listen up maggots
shape-shifting snowmen
they are among us

any one of you
could be trying to kill us
with your snow powers

that’s why we ski fast
to get away from the snow
that’s why skis are sharp

to cut the snow’s skin
how damn much can I say it?
just fucking ski fast

I wanna see ya
doing black diamonds backwards
swerve through the forest

grind the roof of the
big restaurant ski-lounge place
wearing a blindfold

then do maybe like
this HUGE ass jump into a
1080 mctwist

and then we go back
to the vending machine room
next to the bus stop

and I get you kids
whatever candy you want
except fig newtons

cause those aren’t candy
and they shouldn’t even be there
but anything else

I will buy for you
because I make the big bucks
and I like candy

and it’s the last day
yet no one can ski at all
because you all suck

your parents are rich
and they give you everything
so you won’t feel pain

but then real life hits
learning takes time and effort
and what do you know

you turn out like shit
just like your parents wanted
and it bums me out

my disappointment
can only be remedied
through binge consumption

so everybody
meet me down at the bottom
look for the red flag

oh and one last thing
let’s save us both the lecture
don’t tell your parents